An Adventure in Omegle

As I sit in my living room, mouth stuffed with leftovers, I realize that it has been a little over a week since I posted my last blog entry. It doesn't feel like that long though, but it never does. Not that it's a chore writing for you folk, but it's pretty taxing. Yeah, those kids in Africa have it easy- isn't it great to pity yourself before feeling guilty and pitying others? Pretty much my life.

So, I ponder what I should write about. I was planning on either tackling Abortion or Religion in Politics. Either way, I'd have to mention Rick Santorum, and that kind of bums me out. So I decide to do something a little different.

I'm going to document my traversal through the vast wasteland known as Omegle. It is a website to talk to strangers anonymously, and should ideally be a place to broadcast views and bounce ideas off strangers, without any bias.

Unfortunately, anonymity has given people a shield against restraint and common curtesy. More often than not, you'll get vague sexual innuendos, before receiving very overt sexual innuendos. Though there is a chance of finding a real person there, and so I dive in.

Before I click the button to initiate social interaction with human beings, I've got to consider my opening. "Hi"? "How are you?"? "Would you like to talk about anything?"? I eventually decide to open with "Hi" and see how long it takes to devolve into something ridiculous. I'm timing it, go.

It's a bad start. Stranger initializes with "where ar eu from?",  which doesn't seem to be very promising. We spend the entire time going back and forth as I correct their grammar and they make more grammar mistakes and I correct them. Eventually, I decide to get out of there, since I'm in an angry mood as it is a commercial break for That's 70s show. Since they mentioned that they were a student, I leave with " I'm sorry. You should probably ask for a refund from your English department. I can't understand you. Have a good day!"


Is there a hope for true, deep social interaction on Omegle? Sure, I've had real talks on there. It's not something that comes common, no that's euphemisms for penis, but it's a possibility. I dive in again, this time with a "Hey!"Things don't go well, as after I ask how they are, they don't respond. I disconnect after a minute or two of radio silence.

You know, I once read a story about someone who decided not to commit suicide after having an inspiring conversation on Omegle. It inspired me, and I spent a night on Omegle talking to people, opening with "If you need to talk about anything, I can help". I pretended to be an amateur psychology major, and people never doubted it. I think I helped six people in total.

Not everyone was kind about it though. I actually had an enlightening chat about whether or not what I was doing was actually helping anyone.

And I wasn't so great at first, either. I distinctly remember a conversation I had, I'll paraphrase.

Stranger: I think my wife's cheating on me.

Me: Why do you think that?

Stranger: Because I saw her fucking my best friend! YOu [sic] suck!

Stranger has disconnected.

It didn't really affect me much. But why did I tell you about this? Probably to make myself feel better. I suck, don't I? Such an egotist.

I decide to open my next one by saying, "If you need to talk about anything, I can help" Let's see how it goes.

First person I said that to disconnected. Welp. Maybe the next one.

Next person asked me what gender I was. I got angry, so I responded with, "Doctors have had a hard time classifying my gender. Usually on forms, I just fill in both the male and female bubbles". No surprise, they disconnect.

Usually, whenever I'm asked "asl?" (Age/sex/location), I simply ask "does it matter?". I just want to talk to people, get other views on things, but people always bring it back to sex on these websites. I guess most people don't visit sites like this if they don't want that. Here I am, the outlier.

Two more strangers disconnect, before a seventeen year old man in Europe asking for a 35+ female accepts my offer. He tells me of issues with his prom date, and his friend's girlfriend whom he's in love with.

I think I genuinely helped him.

And then he insults me and leaves because I told him not to sleep with his best friend's girl. I guess there isn't much goodness left on Omegle.

Maybe next time something will come up. Be sure to tell me if you liked this post, maybe I'll do something like this again.

Thanks for reading and considering,
-J. Valett